It’s hard to wake up to comments that I’m a ‘dumb bitch’ or that I am proud to have prostituted myself. Granted I’ve only ever read them on sites that people have told me to stay away from but I am lured there anyway, like a fly to light, by an inherent masochistic streak.
What saddens me however, is just how much more love we need in society, how much bitterness and cynicism there is. Is it so hard to believe that one has a genuine passion with no desire to gain anything out from it? Does everything have to be about money? Many have told me that I’m too naive, my perspective too rose tinted for this world but I don’t want to build walls and live a life constantly guarded and paranoid.
I recently made a couple of videos as well answering questions and you know, just playing around. I wanted to invite my small group of readers into my home and see how fast meal prep can be, the blender I’m using and the quick and easy breakfasts it can produce- stuff like that. I opted to do it sans makeup and hairstyling and I really enjoyed the process of filming. It was fun and it was organic in the sense that the videographer and I didn’t really have a clue as to what to do and we just hashed it out on the spot. I wanted it to look entirely like how it would be if you just came over to my place for a chill out sesh. Now that the videos are in my hands however, I am terrified of uploading them. I’ve showed it to some people and their first reaction was why never put makeup?! Why your hair so messy?! Wah. You should ask for money for advertising the blender!
It terrifies me that one day that my children may grow up in a society where their looks may overshadow their thoughts and articulations of their passions and inspirations- that there would be singular body stereotypes considered to have the authority to speak of certain things. It scares me that there would be people who would judge them without knowing a single other thing about them or that everything would have a price attached to them.
Anyway, for the time being, I’ve declined all media interviews and endorsement deals. I have no desire nor time for fame. I am also hopelessly inadequate at managing social media. Would you guys mind just coming over to this page? :/ Soon I’ll be yesterday’s news and I can go back to writing all sorts of rubbish I want. HAHA. In the meantime I’ll still be doing what I’ve always be doing-
procrastinating over answering your emails about your questions, struggles or joys, sharing recipes and whatever fluffy thing I am currently fawning over. 🙂
I don’t know why I’m writing all of these either. It’s probably some melancholy residing in my spleen or something (-.-) But what I do know is that there are a lot of things in life we cannot control but in each and every day that we live, we can be a lot more grateful for what we have (thank you for all of you who have expressed so much love and support), a little more kind, a little more gentle and a whole lot more loving to everyone around us– the world definitely needs more of it 🙂
With lots of love and hope for this world,