Jayesslee’s Failure in Disguise on replay this morning. We all have this kind of days; days you feel you’ve been doing so well only to come all crashing down. Mine was centered around the discovery of a blackened pot- a shred of cabbage still hanging on tenaciously to the edge of it, hard and dry like a cemented testimony of my carelessness and inability to be responsible. Permission to use the kitchen so many months ago was granted on the sole condition that I kept everything in pristine condition and everyday I endeavored to keep it so–more than so. I mumble an apology, a little stunned at my own carelessness only to be met with a scathing remark that an apology was USELESS. And now, with the last of the harsh words hanging in the air, all I wanted to do was to kick the nearest wall, throw up my hands defiantly and say’ FINE! throw away all my stuff! Say I’m ALWAYS irresponsible. That I’ll NEVER change. Discount all the times I’ve ever been good! I’ll have all my meals out from now on! SCREW HEALTH!’
Maybe I would have. Except that I’m 26 now. And at 26 you recognize that it was your fault to begin with and in light of everything that has happened all good and bad, it is as insignificant as insignificant can be. I’ve come too far to give up now, to throw in the towel. I recognize it’s my fault, find ways to solve the irredeemable and to my surprise, the thunder passes like it does on a rainy day.
Life really does go on, even when you feel like a failure sometimes.
So chin up, everyone. This too, shall pass 🙂